Alive
by MegDallen
Summary: TV Show based, after the 1.13 episode. Blair/Chuck. How the things between them going on?
1. Chapter 1

This is my first GG fanfiction, so I hope I like it. English isn´t my native language, so BIG THANX to sydneysnape for great beta :)

I don´t own Gossip Girl TV serie or books.

"I'm not asking you to forgive me. I'll never understand or forgive myself. And if a bullet gets me, so help me, I'll laugh at myself for being an idiot. There's one thing I do know... and that is that I love you, Scarlett. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. Because we're alike. Bad lots, both of us. Selfish and shrewd. But able to look things in the eyes as we call them by their right names. " (Gone with the Wind)

Blair laid on her bed, which was too big. Her room was too big, too cold. Her entire large and elegant apartment has been so cold and silent almost each day since her father left - and now it was even worse. Her old "friends" were out in the clubs, at the parties, or at least they were drinking gallons of alcohol together and having fun.

She hated that she was locked up in her house of scare, and waiting for nothing. Suddenly, she couldn't take it more. She stood angrily and took her purse.

When she was sitting in the cab on her way to the Palace, she was thinking, 'Why shoud I be still closed at home? I can have fun, can´t I? What´s wrong with me? I´m Blair Waldorf, and I´m still Queen till I choose to quit on my own.'

However, everything changed when she reached the door to Van der Woodsen´s suite. She knocked. Nothing. She then knocked once more, but still nothing. 'Why I´m even thinking that she´s at home?' She automatically reached for her mobil and dialed Serena´s number. There were familiar beep-beep-beep tones.

_Heeeeyyy?_ Serena´s voice yelled crazy to the phone. There was really loud music in background.

_Hey, S, where are you?_ asked Blair, she was confused.

_Oh- I´m in Brooklyn- a party- here,_ she stuttered between words and giggles.

_Oh,_ Blair figured out.

_Where- where are you?_ She tried to yell over the music. _Dan- don´t- hey! _and Blair could hear more laugter.

_Serena?!_ She could really have used her friend at the moment, but there was no clear response from the other side. _Serena!_

_I caaaaaaan´t hear you! So- have a fun!_

´What?!´

How could she be so dumb? Serena had her own life, with her boyfriend, and she didn´t have time to deal with Blair´s neverending problems.

She leaned against the wall opposite of the wooden door, and closed her eyes. Nobody was left. She was all alone and it was nobody´s fault but her own.. But could she acknowledge it?

_Fuck,_ she had murmured as the tears started to fall down her face. Angry tears, painful tears. ´Maybe, I can wait here till Serena will come.´ She was ready to hang on to this small, small hope, but-

_Waldorf?_ She knew that voice, and she didn´t want to hear it.

Oh, it was a voice of the one person she had wanted to see the very least: Chuck Bass, of course. Blair opened her eyes and looked over by where she´d heard the noise.. It was really him. She quickly wiped the tears away (not wanting him to see her cry) and looked down before heading to the elevator past him. He just stood there and watched her, in a way that was so characteristically him. Just as she was passing him, he turned around.

_What did you want here?_ he asked her, getting straight to the point.

She stopped and turned to him, face still down, hiding red eyes and smudged mascara.

_I had just come to see Serena_. Her answer was nearly silent, and not even she could understand the way she was acting. He told her the terrible things about sweating horses. He had practically caused everything! She should spit at his face! But she couldn´t; She was humiliated, degraded, unwanted- by everyone… She didn´t have any fight left in her.

_And what are you doing here? Your suite isn´t in this deck._

_I thought my father would be here with my almost-step-mother… Are you going home?_

_No. I think I´ll wait for her in the hall._

She still didn´t raise her face up, so she couldn´t say anything about the feelings in his face. But his voice wasn´t mocking, it didn´t even seem to be mean.

_It´s not good idea. I suppose that she´s going to stay somewhere with Humphrey. I mean- all night._

_It doesn´t matter,_ she sighed out. Nothing did, really.

_Oh, please,_ he snorted.

But Blair had finally reached the elevator and entered in - with Chuck behind her back. With one fast move he´d pressed the button of his deck.

_Chuck, please,_ she whispered and her eyes were already closed before the tears could run out. She was getting used to this crying thing.

He took her arm, with a rather firm grasp, and lead her to his suite. Blair didn´t know what was happening. She was afraid when he slamed the door shut and took advantage of his momentary inattention: she has pulled out of his grasp and was ready to slap him across the face as he turned to face her. Which she did. She felt as though she would do anything in order to prevent whatever was coming next.

He cast his eye upon her, his right cheek red. She stood there, absolutely silent, and her shoulders shook with sobs she had been trying to repress.

_Can you tell me why are_ you_ crying?_ he asked angrily. _I just thought you would be able to stay here, instead of hall or something... But i can see now that it was just another fucking mistake._

He couldn´t watch her anymore so he passed over to the bar and opened a bottle of scotch.

_What did you think?_ Blair was finally, for the first time, looking him straight in the eye. She was defiant. _After all the affairs, after what you told me, you could just drag me to your suite?_ Her voice had raised, she was yelling.

_Like I just said, it´s just another mistake,_ he downed the entire glass. _You can leave,_ he hissed, locking his cold eyes with her wet ones.

_You don´t want be alone, do you?_ She said knowingly, with irritable smirk as she stood on the other side of the bar and rested her elbows on the desk. _Maybe you thought you weren´t alone, but you´re just like me, and you know it,_ she teased slowly.

It was too much. He slammed down the glass and looked to Blair.

_Agreed. Are you satisfied now?_

_No!_ She had lost the rest of her self-control. _You absolutely don´t know! In some ways we are same- out parents, Nate… but you´ve never experienced empty house, empty room, empty bed!_

_You honestly think this?_ A wrinkle had appeared on his forehead.

_What about the sluts in your bed- you never felt it._ New streams of tears had formed on her face. Chuck had gotten mad, and she knew it. He bypassed the bar and stopped right in front of her.

_I didn´t want them. I don´t want them,_ he said quietly, his hands in fists.

She looked at him with her big brown eyes. She looked so vulnerable.

_I wanted you and nobody was able to replace you… I didn´t want them- because no one can smell like you, no one can taste like you, and no one can feel like you…_

She could feel his breath on her face and with combination of those words it was sending a shivers down her spine. She didn´t know how much more of this she would be able to take.

_Chuck, I´m sorry,_ she was being honest, with him and with herself.

_We both know too much about each other,_ he smiled bitterly, _and I´ll bet you know what I want to say. So…_

She noded and smiled at him.

_Ok. Maybe we should just start over, with friendship and...stuff?_

_Yeah, I mean- but I have got one point- you´ll stay here and we can drink till morning, or something…_

That´s great idea, she smiled and it was true smile. _First off- I would like to take a shower and borrow some clothes from you. To sleep in._

_Sure._

---------------------

Hot water in the shower was washing off her strange kind of pain, stress and tiredness. Streams of water were connecting with salt tears on Blair´s pale face. This thing with Chuck wasn´t simple enough to be solved easily. They both were still so angry at each other, so hurt… But this time, everything needed to be pushed aside…

When she came out fromChuck´s big bathroom, she was wearing a pajama shirt and dark blue boxers that he had given her. You couldn´t find any makeup on her face. One might have said that she looked weird or plain, but for Chuck it had been for the first time in many years when he could see her pure beauty. And he admired it. She was looking a little wary, of course, but he felt that her mask was, for that instant, put away. When her look rested on him, wearing his simple grey polo and boxers, she knew the same. They were just Blair and Chuck.

_Ehm- are you hungry?_ Chuck asked when he had come round to again. She just smiled lightly when she saw a pizza box on the big bed.

_No caviar canapes?_

_Oh you know I just wanted something more-_

_- usual?_ she ended.

_But much better- and cheaper,_ he grinned. _So? _he pointed on a piece of calabresse pizza.

_Uhm- no, thanks…_ she said slowly, and sat on the edge of the bed.

_You should…_ Chuck´s mouth was full of food, when he looked at her.

_No, really,_ she shyed at his stare and smiled, it was easy to see that she was embarrassed_. I bet it would make me sick, and I don´t want gag in your bathroom, _it was meant like a joke, but it was true.

Chuck didn´t want to mull over this delicate issue, when they both weren´t having such a great time. The last few days especially..

So he just nodded, but was worried about her all the same, and she could see it.

_We should go to sleep,_ he said when he put the box on the floor and layed down, sheet pulled over him. Blair did the same and when he turned off the lights they were surrounded by darkness.

After ten minutes she was able to listen his calm, regular, breathing and she thought it was one of the most comforting things in the world. She couldn´t feel his body, due to the huge area of the bed, but she knew about him, she could feel his warmth and smell his scent.

Then she turned onto her side to look at him, laying on his back. He wasn´t sleeping, his eyes were open. When he saw her move, he turned onto his side too. Blair reached for his hand and he took hers in his own. They were both lying there with closed eyes now, holding one another.

Chuck was fighting with himself and Blair couldn´t to resist under the connection of their bodies, even though it was so light. It was anything and everything. The bittersweet memories were back, devouring them. How they had shared their first kiss and touches in the black limo, how they had talked on the balcony in the windy night, how they had danced together on the cotillion. They used to have glamorous imitations of lives, with many friends and loved ones.

_Chuck, are you sleeping?_ Blair asked in a low voice, she was nervous.

_No,_ he said clearly. He opened his eyes and saw her sad face. _What´s up?_ he asked softly, as he rubbed her fingers with his thumb.

_We are so stupid. We had broken down everything by ourselves. I´m the bitch and you had lost your best friend and you know..._

Chuck scoffed. _Nobody wants us now._ He wanted to cheered her up, but she had let go his hand and put on very serious look.

_I want you,_ she whispered, _I need you._

And there is it, he thought, and let everything come around.

Blair moved first, and kissed Chuck's lips softly. They had both, with the same urgency, nestled against each other. He kissed her luscious mouth as one of his arms was resting on her waist. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip and she gladly opened her mouth and deepened the kiss. He wanted to touch her everywhere, because the pleasure that was in every each touch was unbelievable.

Chuck moved from her lips to her jaw, and was then back to her lips. She nearly sobbed as he moved down to her neck. He was nibbling the sensitive skin there, and Blair reached up and threaded her fingers into his hair, pushing his head, forcing his mouth to move. He pushed up the shirt covering her flesh a little, and his hand went to the side of her hip, then over her belly. She could feel Chuck´s fingers slowly massaging circles into her stomach, near her navel. She shifted, and the motion stopped for a second, then started again, even slower than before. For a long time they were only kissing, their tonagues slowly dancing together, and Chuck´s hot palms smoothing her hips and belly. He wanted to make her feel good, feel loved.

Blair found her breath starting to come a little irregularly under Chuck´s delicious attention. She wanted to feel his touches everywhere so she reached for the first button of the shirt. But he caught her wrist and looked to her eyes with an intensity that she had never seen before. She was afraiding that he wanted to stop.

_Please, I need you,_ she pleaded quietly, with desperate face.

He hesitated only for second.

_Let me,_ he put her hand away.

He trailed his kisses down her neck, unbuttoning the shirt, to her breasts. She wasn´t wearing a bra. It felt like an electric current was flowing through her veins when he took her supple breast into his hand, beginning to caress her with his palms, grazing her nipple with his thumb, then stroking circles around it. He took one hardened nipple into his mouth, groaning as he did so, and sucked.

_Oh god, Chuck,_ the moan escaped while small purring noises spilled from her swollen lips. She grasped his dark hair and arched into him. Then she pulled his polo over his head. She tore at Chuck´s back and bit the skin of his shoulders. He hadn´t believed that such pleasure could exist.

He loved the feeling of her sharp nipples grazing against him as he moved above her. They both gasped at the sensation of their naked chests pressing together. One of Blair´s petite hands rubbed across the back of Chuck´s neck while the other one stroked up and down his back. His hands travelled down, cupping her backside, as he cautiously pushed her pelvis against his own. Blair felt a hit of desire as she felt the hard bulge in his trousers. She rubbed against it instinctively, familiarly, causing him to let out a low groan.

Blair felt his hand travel down her stomach to her thigh and, finaly, he parted her legs.

_Just relax, B,_ Chuck said his breath soft against her ear.

His fingers carefully traced circles around her inner thighs, sending a shiver down her spine. Then his fingers slid under her lace underwear. She cried out as one of his fingers slid into her. Her hand was suddenly on his, guiding him, pumping his fingers in and out. The sensations flowing through her body, making her moan and gasp with each movement. It had been pure ecstasy when he saw her wriggling from delight under him.

_Say that you love me,_ he said firmly, while he was stroking her.

_What?_ Blair asked, confused, biting her lower lip. And then he stopped his movements. She lifted her hips against his hand but he held her down.

_Just say it,_ Chuck commanded, and he ran his thumb over her clit again causing her to shudder, pleasure coursing through her. He continued, moving his thumb in slow circles, increasing the pressure and tempo.

_I- I love you,_ she moaned as she sighed for more.

He quickly slipped off the rest of her clothes and ripped off his pants and boxers. Meanwhile, Blair was touching his sensitive sights on his back and nape, loving the feel of his warm skin under her fingertips.

When they were both naked, and he was holding her closely, they looked at each other wistfully. Blair brushed her lips against his parted ones, in a delicate caress, and he rested on his forearms and slipped an inch into her waiting body. Blair easily got accustomed to his size. Then the thrusting began and Chuck gripped her hips with his hands, angling them so his length grazed her most sensitive point with each thrust. Her nails dug into his back, scratching. Feeling him inside her was so comforting and, once again, she felt alive.

They made soft noises, almost unheard even to their own ears. But as Chuck sped up the thrusting, their breathing and other noises of lust started to become louder. They were kissing with more passion than ever before, and Chuck was swallowing Blair´s cries as she melted underneath him, tearfully pleading for more between the kisses.

_Please, Chuck… oh- please…_

Her legs were wrapped around him and their eyes were locked together. He thrusted a few more times, they both were shaking and rested their foreheads against each other when the wave of their orgasms came.

Blair reached up to touch his face just to make sure he really was there. As she ran her hand across his face and her fingers came to his lips, Chuck kissed the tips of them and smiled when he saw her eyes close to the feeling. There was some kind of quaint peace agreement. But for how long?

-------------

Thank you for reading and please review, it means a lot to me :)


	2. Chapter 2

Primarily, I didn´t planning to continue, but I get some ideas, so I hope you like it :) There will be another one or two chapters, I don´t want to do this story uselessly long. I also appreciate any ideas for upcoming chapters from you :)

Thanx so much to my lovely beta Devia!!

* * *

When Chuck woke up, the first thing that he saw was Blair; she was standing next to the big window, looking out. She didn´t notice, that he was awake, so he could see her, faraway, motionless, back in her own clothes, but still without any make-up on her face.

"Morning," she said when she noticed that he was awake.

"Morning," he replied with a sleepy voice. "What´s the time?"

"About eight."

Chuck groaned and lifted a eyebrow. "So you´re early bird, huh?"

She wanted answered something about how the _Early bird catches the worm_, but then she thought better of it. There were some more serious things to talk about.

Blair walked over to him and sat on the edge of the bed with quite serious, and maybe worried face, he exhaled and put on his t-shirt, which had been tossed on the carpet.

"I think we didn´t start out the best of ways," Blair said slowly as she looked at him.

"No?" Of course, he was Chuck Bass and sex was always the best way to start, but this time… even he didn´t smirk.

"After what we talked about and after we managed to be friends again…" It wasn´t easy for her to say the rest.

"You want to start again? Like, from this morning?"

Blair lifted her eyes from her lap and answered; "Yes," she couldn´t take it, he was so kind and sympathetic, "I really would like that."

He rose from his bed and took a bottle of sparkling water from the table. "Ok then," he nodded before he took a long gulp.

--

They spent the rest of the weekend together at his suite, enjoying themselves by ordering everything that looked good from the Palace menu card. Eventually ending up at her bedroom, poetizing above models in her Harper´s Bazaar magazines. She was smiling like crazy whole the time, even after what seemed like a lifetime. The strange feeling inside, evoked by the true laughing, is like warm light or liquid spilling through her whole body.

After her peaceful and restful weekend she had to accommodate to her current social life, which wasn't in the best shape at the momment.She couldn´t be with Chuck at the same time as Serena, because it seemed, that family situation at Van der Bass was quite intense.

The other girl and Jenny were really harsh. But she was also, wasn´t she? And when Jenny trips her and she´s falling down again, this time literally, she´s thinking about punishments for sinners.

"_I´m the sinner_," she thinks when she´s getting up and whole school´s looking and Jenny and her crew are giggling. Her right hip hurts badly like she hit the corner of the table. But her face is stone and she´s going to home, keeping the tears of pain and bitterness back.

--

Leaving the warm of home… _What?_ What is home for Chuck Bass? Why is he so snarky that he can go back to his, only his, suite? The common breakfasts and permanent presence of somebody was calming in a way, is this punishment for being so loving brother and son… _But- what? _He´s making grimace of disgust and disbelieve. _I´m Chuck Bass…Aren't I?_

He´s entering his empty suite when his phone´s vibrating.

HI, WANNA COME? BAD DAY…B

Chuck frowned.

REALLY? IM COMING. C

--

Dorota welcomed him and sent him to Blair´s room. He stepped in, without knocking, of course. Blair was lying on her side, her eyes closed, relaxing.

"Where is the alcohol, Waldorf?" he sang out and Blair jerked, surprised, and looked at him.

"Hi," she smiled lightly, but sadly, "so, you came..."

He just nodded.

"Actually, it´s nothing serious, just stupid Jenny…" she started to clear up.

But he interrupted her by quick movement to her bed. It was more like he jumped, and suddenly, he was next to her, tickling her.

"No… hey, stop…" she was giggling and trying to catch her breath. "Don´t, Chuck!" she flinched away when he touched the sore spot on her ribcage.

"What is it?" he asked as he standing up, both of them serious now.

"Nothing," Blair said, looking away and fixing her top. "The bottle is in the shelf, next to the window."

The truth was that Blair had ice cubes in packet settled on the ugly welt the whole afternoon, afraid that it could be even worst and even more red and blue. She was cold and sore and she knew that Chuck wasn´t alright either. She could feel it.

Chuck was just about to pour himself an extra glass of scotch, when Blair stopped him.

"No?" he looked at her and raised eyebrows.

"There are better ways than this," she didn´t want him to drink, and drink, and drink. Sober Chuck is more vulnerable, uncertain and more human.

"Like what?" Chuck asked sidelong.

"A bath?" There was light blush on her cheeks, he could see it though.

She stood up and stood in the middle of her room in front of Chuck, waiting for some reaction.

_The bathtub? One bathtub shared with Blair Waldorf?Anyway- what could be better than the scotch?_ He was cold. He could feel it inside and also physical. The hot bath could be the best thing on the world in this moment, but there was something- there was her. And they were friends and bathing with a naked girl, with naked Blair-

"You go enjoy it. I´ll wait here," he said and the glass was left empty when Blair headed for bathroom.

--

In the luxury bathroom the candles were shining and the air smelled like jasmine and vanilla. Just few minutes ago she left the bedroom with Chuck and his scotch and now, she heard some rustling behind her and then the water rose up when he sat down behind her back in the warm and bubbly water. She lifted herself a little, just because she really was nervous and now he saw the bruise on her side. He slightly ran his fingertips over the sore place and Blair inhaled sharply.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked with a wince of the hand and a splash.

"No. It feels… good," Blair added quietly and then his hand was again there, fingers merely touching her sensitive flesh.

He was taking notice of her bare back, her hair was pinned up, and just a couple of curls were clinging to silkily crook of her neck and the beginning of her spin. It looked unimaginably sexy.

Then he removed a strand and with his lips pressed on her neck he whispered to her.

"Blair, I don´t know what-"

"Just talk to me," she said limberly, not needing to look at him, just the feeling of him, on her. She needs to hear his voice; Velvety, alive and comforting.

And he talks, lips soft as they grazed the side of her neck. About his father, about Lily and Eric and even about Serena. She´s leaning backward, back pressing against his chest, so he can put his chin on her shoulder more comfortably and continue with murmuring. One of his arms is loosely put on the side of the bathtub and the other wrap around her from the front. He can feel the curves of her full breasts on the top of his forearm, but he is trying not to pay attention to them. Their cold bodies are starting to feel slight warmth spreading throughout.

It is nice to have him near. She traces the skin texture of his damp arms, curling around her body, oh so tenderly with her fingers. Like they are in different world, Because they haven´t talked properly since Serena came back.

Blair doesn´t feel naked, despite the fact that she _is._ Chuck taught her don´t be embarrassed or uncomfortable or whatever because of the nakedness, especially because of the nakedness of _her_ body. So this moment isn´t erotic or sexual, Just very intimate, because they both know where the borders are and nobody wants to cross it.

He is starting to wash her, just with the water from the bathtub and his hands. It feels so good, the warm water on her already cool shoulders and back. The water runs of her upper body back down and again and again. She lets her arm to go behind, reaching for Chuck´s hair to stroke and brush her fingers through it, while he is taking care of her.

Another strange feeling for him; To make someone feel good and comfortable and protected with no sexual continuity. But in the same way, it´s hard to not thinking about it, when her skin is so soft, when her hair are right next to his face and when her stupefying sweet smell is everywhere.

Meanwhile Blair was thinking about _the night_. How he forced her to say_ it_. Why?

When Chuck can hear Blair´s deep exhaling, he is not sure about their behavior and a second later, Blair is standing up and taking her designed bathrobe.

She clears her throat and then says, "It´s quite better now," and adds a smile, before heading out.

--

She was still in her bathrobe when Chuck came out from the bathroom, already dressed, and in his jacket.

"Don´t you want to sleep over?" Blair asked. "In a guests room, I mean," she quickly added.

He just shook his head as he buttoned the jacket.

"See you, princess," he said, next to the door, where Blair was standing. He almost kissed her cheek, but it seemed that he had changed his mind in the latest second and just smirked at her, before he left.

_I always wanted to be free_

'_Till I was bound and then_

_I always wanted my own way_

'_Till I saw that I find my life when_

_I lose it_

_You make me come alive_

_I found the secret_

_It's only when I let go of what I want in this life_

_You make me come alive_

* * *

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please post some review if you have a time, it could be nice :)


	3. Chapter 3

Blair, in her school uniform skirt and Tommy Hilfiger´s jacket, stepped out from lift to the corridor, where Chuck´s suite was.

The cappuccinos were really hot against her fingers and with packet of doughnuts and her own bag; it was quite difficult even to keep going.

She was balancing everything all the way to the suite, number 1812, when she heard voices and the particular door was opened.

Blair quickly jumped back around the corner, and watched from her hiding place to see what the hell was going on.

"So, goodbye, Mr. Bass," chattered a blond girl in very unfashionable Burberry coat from a past season collection.

"Bye, sweetheart," Chuck replied with his deepest, and according to him, also sexiest voice.

"Can I get your phone number, just in case I will be nearby?" the slut asked him too-sweetly after which Chuck began to dictate to her a definitely false number.

--

During lunch break, Chuck found Blair chatting with class-mates about math test.

"Excuse me, ladies," he smirked at the girls and turned to Blair, but she gave him annoyed look.

"We have something important to talk about," she said showing him aside to continue with their conversation.

"I thought that we were going to go out for lunch," he hissed behind her.

Blair turned her head around to face him and he continued even more coldly, "Could you wait a minute?"

He had been waiting for the last 15 minutes at least, quite confused and angry, Chuck Bass is never kept waiting and never confused about the way a girl acts. But Blair is his friend, so it´s different.

"We have almost no time for a meal, sorry. I have a lesson," she replied simply and quickly as she walked passed him.

"Blair, what the fuck is going on?" he stopped her and couldn´t stop himself from saying something.

"Nothing." This is really not "_nothing"_. He doesn´t know much about this issues of girls' manners, but it was said like it was _something_.

"Oh, don´t do this," he scoffed. "Is this about yesterday? Did I do-"

"No, no!"

"Then what?"

"I just said- I have a lesson. See you after school, okay?"

"Come with me to Victrola tonight. My father wants me to be there."

"Another big victory party?"

"Maybe," he smiled. "I´ll pick you up at 7."

Blair just nodded and disappeared in the building quickly.

--

At 7:00 Blair entered the waiting limo. She sat next to Chuck who was dressed in a simple black suit with black tie and white shirt. He usually didn't wear clothes like these, but Blair thought he looked very nice. Blair herself had purple blouse on with long fluffy sleeves and knee-high silk skirt in a cream color.

She was trying to look busy with her cell phone and when she caught his eye, she made an _Okay_ look with raised eye brows and lifted mouth corners.

"It´s going to be pretty boring party," Chuck informed her.

"Nice," she said, because it seemed like he is going to be bored because of her.

"No, I didn´t meant it like that, Blair," he was trying to clear it up. "I´m glad that you´re here," he added sincerely.

Blair made another little _Okay_ smile and kept wishing that she hadn´t seen the morning scene.

--

Once, when they entered the shining and noisy club, Chuck excused himself and went to his father and Blair sat down to the bar and ordered a martini- for a start.

From her bar stool, martini in hand, she was watching Chuck as he tried to do his best to impressed the businessman around his father, even though he had sent him away from his new family life. Blair didn´t exactly know if it was sweet or just sad.

She wanted to be sad for him or to be happy for him or anything for him, but she couldn´t. Each time when she recalled that whore and him at the entrance to his suit, it made her sick. Especially when she'd been thinking what they were doing together. How loudly the blond was moaning and if he was telling her how pretty is she and how good she feels… Just when she thought that the nausea was back, she realized that it had gotten better, it was the alcohol. A wide smile appeared on her face and she ordered another drink.

After half an hour Chuck made his way back to her, only to find her humming quietly to the song that was playing and that the pose of her body wasn't so perky and affected.

"Hey, Blair?" he called and when her face turned to him, he understood. "You´re drunk!" he cried out.

"I am not!" Blair defended. But her glistening eyes, infantile voice and expression revealed her. "That´s _your_ specialty," she pouted, her red lips defined.

Chuck started to mock her. "A girl once told me, that booze isn´t the best way."

"Heyyy!" Blair exclaimed as she slapped him on his arm, but she couldn´t help herself and laughed along with Chuck.

"Time for fun," Chuck said as he grabbed her hand and led her to door that read _PRIVATE_, where there was an office and a rest room or lounge.

The sofa here was as green as a pool table, when she began to sit down she let out a hiss from surprising pain in her hip.

Chuck promptly lifted his eyes from pouring glasses of some liquor, and looking for her eyes.

"Is it still sore?" he asked and putting the glasses on the table next to the sofa.

"No-yes-not really," Blair murmured.

"Show me," and he is staring at her now, a challenged look on his face.

"No!" Blair yelped, yanking her body away from him.

"I dare you to show me your hip!" and now _he _sounded like a little mad boy.

"We aren´t play Truth or dare!"

"Oh yes, we are."

"Since when?"

"Since I said."

They are _both_ like little children.

"Okay, but remember, it was your choice," Blair said slowly and she definitely had something in her mind. She shoved up the purple blouse to reveal her side and the lace of her bra.

Then, instead of putting it back on, she pulled the rest over her head and put somewhere on the sofa.

"Well, truth or dare, Chuck?" she said with innocent but ridiculous smile.

"Truth," he answered simply.

"Why you wanted me to say I love you that night?" Blair said before she could stop herself.

His brown eyes met hers, and then he looked away.

"Maybe I just wanted to hear it, even it wasn´t true," the words were followed by deep breath.

Blair absolutely understood what he meant.

"I didn´t meant to- to make you feel low or-you know…"

"I know."

After short pause full of their unwished thoughts, they continued with Truth or dare, but this time in a more playfully way. By that time Chuck lost his jacket and also one of his shoes and Blair had to sing Umbrella by Rihanna, and others. Because of bottle of Dom Pérignon, Blair felt irrepressible urge to giggling and Chuck was just lucky because it looked like Blair was happy. And then she dared him to kiss her to taste the Champaign on each other's lips and tongues.

"We´re friends, we can´t kiss," Chuck objected and leaned back from the almost half-naked Blair in her pretty lilac bra.

"True," she said after short moment of embarrassment and wonder. It was so not him!

But he took her left wrist and enrobed here a whit of the Champaign from his glass. The golden, fizzy liquid briskly cool down Blair´s hot skin, then the cool shivers were replaced immediately with a burn caused by Chuck´s tongue and lips, running on her sensitive flesh. He was attentively caressing every centimeter of her sweet skin from all sides, to edge of the salty palm.

Blair felt her body begin to tremble in anticipation, but she tried to relax and remembered how to act. She knew there was something when Chuck wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled, until she was half lying, back against the sofa´s elbow. Then he reached for glass again and poured the Champaign on her flat stomach.

She giggled as she was scanning his actions. Most of the liquid left in her navel, but some of it was now running down her sides. So Chuck lowered his head and started to drink the vintage straight from her belly and licking her sides.

It was so pleasant, that Blair closed her eyes and her head started to spin slowly.

"Mmmmm," Chuck mumbled, "sweet."

And before Blair could say anything, her ass was at the edge of the sofa, Chuck was tucking up the skirt as silky as her bare tights, after the lilac panties were away, and one of her legs was draped over his shoulder.

He walks his fingers up her leg and follows with his mouth then behind her knee and over her thigh. She lets out a low sigh.

"I hoped _this _kind of kissing is allowed."

Blair´s full lower lip is caught between her teeth when he looks up on her and she whispers _yes_, flush already rising under her skin, but she doesn't look away, not even when his finger slips between her folds, finding a wet heat.

All he can do is concentrate the way he flicks his thumb across her clit, the second hand soothing her inner tight near the center. Then, his mouth covers the most sensitive part of Blair´s body. She can´t keep her arms from shaking, her head flinging backwards with the push and the pull of his mouth.

The soft, breathy noises she's making driving Chuck crazy. He pays close attention, learning this the way he's learned everything else about her.

Blair feel her back arch, as his fingers suddenly slip inside, stroking her inner walls. Her eyes widen, as she begin slowly ride his talented fingers.

"Are you cold?"

"No…"

"You´re trembling," and he smirks, because he certainly knows why, he just can´t help himself. "Why?"

"I´m aroused obviously," she mumbles quickly and angrily and when he´s starting to lowering his head down again, all the arousal (almost) is away.

"You always must ruin everything!" Blair screams when she suddenly rises up and fixing her skirt and looking for her purse. "Can´t you be normal?!" she´s continuing as she grabs her underwear from the floor and tuck it to the handbag.

"Blair!" yells Chuck when he sees that she is about to leave.

"Fuck you!" Blair answers and once again she is gone.


	4. Chapter 4

_I never felt like this before,_

_I never felt like this before,_

_Just when I leave, I'm back for more,_

_Nothing else here seems to matter,_

_In these ever changing days, _

_You're the one thing that remains,_

_I could stay like this forever._

When Chuck finally understood that she really did not want to see him or speak to him, it had lasted almost week. Then he gave it up and got together with desperate Serena, who certainly had problems with Dan. Of course, she has been tried excuse Chuck and Blair simply didn´t get, since then Serena had coupled up with Chuck.

Blair wasn´t actually _angry_ at him, she just didn´t know what to do, or what to think. She had wanted to solve their relationship and fixed her life, but it seemed that everything was just going to get harder and harder.

The only positive thing was that the scandal about her was slowly silencing and she could live, more or less, a normal again.

So that meant that she had to go to the Palace, to friend of someone's friends birthday dinner. All important and rich people were going to be there, what included also Chuck. When everything went on wheels and she was about to leave with Serena, she met him on her way from toilets.

"Where is your girlfriend?" she couldn´t help herself not to ask.

"What are you talking about?" asked Chuck, who had stopped and returned to face her from safe distance.

"That nice blonde, who I saw in front of your suite last week," she cleared up sharply, yet innocently.

"It´s none of your business."

"Actually it is. Since you wanted to fuck me in the same day," Blair spilled out. "Maybe it is finally time to be honest, Chuck!"

"To be honest? Ok, so, to be honest, I´ve never made love with anybody."

She looked at him confused, so he continued.

"I was fucking dozens of girls and women. But it was just fucking, just fun and it made me to forget the world around me. And everything could be good, but then, there was you. The Charming Blair Waldorf, Queen of the Upper East Side, all of a sudden, in my limo, and on my lap."

"That´s it? It was also just fucking?" she asked quietly, with unsure voice.

"Yeah... Because it was too short to become something more, to realize that maybe it was something more. Although, you didn´t want something more, if ever."

He noticed, that she was crying. Was it tears of anger or pain? She was clutching her fists and looking away.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" he made a few steps toward her. "But I don´t want to hurt you anymore... That is one thing, which isn´t a lie."

When she still didn´t look at him, he turned her by her chin to face him.

"I´ve never slept with any girl more than once. Only you could make me want it- want you- more and more. And I hated it, because I couldn´t have you."

"To be honest," Blair finally spoke, "maybe I wanted it to be more than sex, but I was so afraid to admit it. Oh and I was so silly, because I thought it wasn´t just meaningless fucking."

"Blair, stop it."

"It wasn´t as sweet and romantic and gentle as I dreamt it would be, but it was new for me and it felt good at least."

"You see...?" Chuck nodded slowly and sighed when he saw the effect that his words had on her.

"Chuck..." this Chuck made her feel so sad, even if she didn´t want to.

"Leave me alone now. Go..."

--

She returned from Serena´s with a reserved key. Chuck was half-lying on the sofa, snoring a little. Blair sat next to him and she was watching him quietly, watching how his chest was raising up and then falling down. How he looked so different then when he was up, and she was hearing his snobbish talks.

Blair rose up and went to the bedroom for a blanket, which was lying on the edge of his bed. She took a notice of a tiny book. _Chuck is reading?_ She picked it up and looked at the cover; _Breakfast at Tiffany´s by Truman Capote. _She put it back and went with the blanket to room where Chuck was sleeping, except he wasn´t sleeping anymore, only staring somewhere.

"Are you reading Breakfast at Tiffany´s?" she asked sharply, as she threw the blanket on the sofa.

"No... I read it yet."

"Chuck!"

"I saw the movie many times with you, when we were younger. But I wanted to know the original. The true story. how it was in real..."

"It´s different."

"They say that original is always better."

"Oh, but Audrey Hepburn-"

"Wouldn't you rather be Holly? I mean- Blair?"

"Make love to me, Chuck..." she asked him, her voice a little higher than normal.

Her words were like an echo in his head, so surprising, but he didn´t make any move.

"Blair," he just softly breathed out, as her hands were coming towards him to settle around his neck, and he could feel how she was lightly brushing her fingers through the hair on his nap of his neck. "I´m so sorry for the way I acted. I had no right to did what I did," he finally spoke.

"If I didn´t want it, I would stopped you," she said softly.

"But- that evening, when we were in bath, I didn´t dare to do anything that would ruin the moment- it was too perfect. Blair, nobody knows who I really am, and I have never felt this empty as I did before that point. I had to do- well, you also made me quite hard," he admitted with chuckle.

Then Chuck was stroking Blair´s face, her cheek, her chin, and lips and repeating Blair´s name again and again.

After a few moments they found their way to each other's lips. Chuck tried not to completely attack on Blair´s mouth with his tongue, just gently licking the taste of them off. He didn't do anything else at first, just breathed. Blair made a soft purr and she was just holding still for now and waiting for his next movements. She didn't push him away, so he sucked gently at her lips, teasing them open, and she let him in. He put a hand on her cheek; he could feel her trembling slightly as he licked into her mouth, sucking lightly at her tongue.

This felt incredible. He used to be gentle and nice with her, but never this way. It almost seemed that he was hesitant and unsure. But then, Blair must have tensed or something, because he raised his head. "You okay?"

"Chuck..." _she_ breathed out deeply this time. "What is it with us?" and it wasn´t really a question. "You know, all I want is to be the girl you´re scared to lose." It was not easy to say this to him and she couldn´t look into his eyes.

"Blair..." he said for the fiftieth time in the last ten minutes. "You know how much I´m scared that I lost you? How much I´ve been worrying, for last month especially?" Chuck mumbled and she couldn´t read the look on his face.

He leaned forward to reach her mouth. Earlier it had been all tongue and teeth and heat. Now, she let him taste her the way he had the first time they kissed, her lips warm and sweet and salty, her tongue a seduction rather than a demand, pulling him into her rather than pushing herself into him. The hooks her fingers had become let him go. They became explorers, pushing up under his shirt, seeking the heat of his skin, pressing flat to trace paths across the flesh of his lower back.

"Wow," she whispered against his mouth.

"Yeah," he agreed, then settling a little more comfortably against her.

Blair was running her hands down and back up his stomach, broke the kiss and dragged her mouth along his jaw, seeking lower, her lips grazing his throat. He growled in response.

Then, she slowly got up and stood next to the sofa, she was taking off her top, looking at him steadily, as he was looking back.

It was very special to see her in these simple clothes; skinny dark blue jeans and a flowered tank top by Stella McCartney. In these, her natural beauty was even more obvious and Chuck had to breathe very deeply to keep himself calm. Especially, when he looked up and saw her slim and soft torso in cream bra with silk ribbon.

She is about to bent down to kiss him, but he caught her arm.

"I slept with a girl last week," he quickly reminded her and he was awaiting new big argument, but she just whispered, without a blink of eye:

"But it was just fucking, wasn´t it?"

"It was..." Chuck agreed and let her kiss him.

Blair´s lips were grazing his temple and her whole body was shifting, dipping down so she could reach him by the time she got to his mouth. She put one leg, her knee bent, next to him on couch and hooked her arms around his neck.

He put his hands on her hips and kissing her by their slow tempo. He was still in his white shirt and when Blair carefully rolled up the sleeves and gently mapping the forearms, he shivered.

Her finely sculpted fingers dragged down, to the hem of his shirt. He lifted up his arms as she tugged it off, getting it caught under his chin and she giggled self-consciously.

"I can´t believe, that you´re nervous. I should be the one," Chuck murmured with smirk as he was stroking her wavy hair.

When they made their way to his bedroom, Chuck realized how different it is now. That he really was nervous, because he didn´t want ruin this. That he wanted to make it special, especially for her, not for himself.

Chuck was sitting on his bed now and Blair was kneeling between his thighs. She held the back of his head, pressed him against her skin. She moaned a little bit when he found the sweet spot she had at her neck. The muscles in his back tensed and rippled as he touched her, gently. It was maddeningly slow and completely perfect at the same time.

"God, Chuck," she panted, licking the stubble on his jaw. "God."

And he hadn't done anything to her yet. Really.

"Blair." He breathed it out against her skin, just to make sure she knew that he knew exactly who he was with and wasn't just picturing someone else in her place.

She leaned forward, sucking his earlobe into her mouth, sending another jolt of need through his body. Then, she helped him remove his undershirt and trousers. She reached between them and slipped her hand past the waistband of his boxers. She stroked his belly, and then fisted his erection. It was a little strange, because she never done this before, even with Nate, and Chuck can see it from her red cheeks, unsure movements and ragged breath. But it felt good anyway, so good. She reached out and ran her fingers across the length and Chuck unwittingly rocked forward to her palm. He let out a low guttural moan and leaned back.

The light from the living room was faintly illumining Blair´s body and that made Chuck stop his actions for moments, because he was truly mesmerized.

"I'm sorry I never told you before," he whispered, mouth against her neck, making her shiver.

"Never told me what?" she asked, hands on his shoulders now.

"How beautiful you are, how much I love looking at you."

When Chuck squeezed her ass through the jeans, she nearly lost the balance and he pushed her down, on her back. She raised her hips, helped him slide her jeans down her legs and off.

She watched when he slid the left bra strap off her shoulder and kissed her skin there. She shivered a little, shifting restlessly against him. She ran her fingers over his shoulder and down his arm, her hand curving around his bicep, as his head dipped to her breast. But suddenly, Chuck realized, that he never actually asked her, what she likes. If she liked this or the other things that he made to her.

Blair looked at him confusedly.

"How does it felt?"

"What?" she said uncertainly as she was cupping his cheek soothingly.

"When we made it for the first time, after Victrola."

Blair lowered her hand. She just couldn´t understand why he was asking, but she found it very sweet.

"It´s hard to say, because it was so new- but it was surely unforgettable and I don´t regret it... Yes, it ached a little bit and everything, but it also made me feel sexy, wanted and alive...You still make me feel this way. Thank you, Chuck." It was a bit awkward to have admitted this, to confide it to him.

Meanwhile, Chuck returned to her breasts, to remove the bra completely, freeing her breasts to him.

"How does feel this?"

"So good." Blair´s hands were threading into his hair to hold him at her chest and to guide his mouth where she liked it.

"And do you like this?" he asked again, when he pulled the dark nipple in his mouth and rolled it with his tongue.

Her eyes closed and she moaned: "Mmmhm."

Then Chuck started gently massaging the breasts by his palms, attentively watching Blair´s reactions.

"And this?"

This time Blair wrapped one leg around his and arched her back.

"Harder, please," she answered quietly, with needy sound and when Chuck obliged, she was starting to make another breathless needy sounds, little half-formed words, which made together nothing but noise. It was the most amazing sound that he ever heard.

It was a slow and pleasant. Chuck moved slowly, so slowly, holding her tightly to him on his lap. She buried her face in his neck, arms tight around him and let him keeping the rhythm. He wanted to be sure, that Blair felt the same perfection and love in their embrace. And Blair could feel it, of course. She could feel all the care radiating from Chuck´s body, from his whole being.

"Will you marry me?" Chuck asked suddenly, when they were resting, sweat still on their bodeis.

"What?" Blair asked laughing.

"Not today, someday."

"Maybe," she said with playfully lift eyebrow.

* * *

So, this was the last chapter, I hopu you guyz like it. Thank you all for your support.


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